SIMGUANYUEAN

Its my birthday tomorrow =) actually in like 50 minutes time. Sweeet 17. Jus always tells me that the 17th is the most important for the indons. So I wanna dedicated my first post, which is also my birthday post to a guy who has changed my life in unimaginable ways.
I came into his life, and made a mess out of it. But despite that I know he still looooves me. RIGHT? ^^
U asked me wheres ur farewell letter, and I did promise u one. And I always preach that promises aren’t meant to be broken, so I should practice what I preach (:
Hmm honestly, you’re the wackiest guy I’ve EVER met in my whole life. You do things that make me laugh till I cant breathe, yet at the same time, you can make me angry till im fuming with anger.
You’ve taught me so much. Even though I always scold you and tell you to be better. I cant remember when I started getting close to you. During PAE period. And somehow I managed to convince you to take the same subject combi as me so I wouldn’t be alone in class. I couldn’t believe it seriously. Now I don’t know if it was a blessing or a curse.

I remember…during o level release date, I was sooo fucking scared. And after that we all went to ECP. And you told me things that I was probably not meant to hear. But I don’t regret it. Seriously. Cuz no matter what you’re still one of the best friends I had. NO. HAVE.
I remember….When I called you at 3 a.m in the morning. Cuz I was so scared of the ghost stories fani told me. And you talked to me for like quite a long time even though I woke you up. But you didn’t even mind at all.

I remember..you;d always tell me that im not fat. And you never saw me as fat. And you’d tell me how great I am. Even though Im not. Plus you bought me some super LAME book. The true measure of a woman :/

I remember…When I came crying home from school one day. Like crazy. And I refused to talk to anyone except polar. And you were so freaking worried..And you called me for like 10 times in half an hour and spammed my bloody inbox.

I remember…when you’ll piggy back me when I was super tired. And you’d even carry my bags even though it was ultra girly.

I remember…When you agreed to let me and gracia shave your legs just cuz I said “it looks like a forest”. And after that you got tortured by almost every guy in the world.
I remember…When you’d always let me sleep on you on the way home. And after that you’ll get super bad cramps but you never ever scolded me.

I remember…When you’d spend hours and hours RE-teaching me math. And you were prepared to teach me when I slept during every lecture.

I remember all you’ve done for me. And I know theres so much more. But..

I also remember..The times I screamed at you when I was pmsing. And for nothing. Sometimes it annoyed you and I could tell. But that never made you hate me.

I also remember..When you were struggling with the teachers. And I didn’t lend you a helping hand.

I also remember..When you cried in front of me..and I couldn’t comfort you.

I also remember...When teachers had something bad to say about you to me..i had nothing to say..
I also remember..the times I ignored you when you needed a shoulder to lean on.

Im a bitch. But no matter what I did you’re still like freaking bloody nice to me. I don’t know.

I was ANGRYUPSETDISAPPOINTED. You’re so smart. You’re the smartest amongst the all of us. Yet, you don’t use your brains. You know, how many people out there would die to be YOU. Yet you’re wasting your life away.

I just wanted you to try. Try harder. I think I may have caused your downfall. And screwed your life up. And you may think I hate you. But I DON’T. seriously. I just don’t want to see my best friend like that. It hurts you know. To see someone you love hurting themselves.

But I really want you to know. Despite all the bad things I’ve done. I really reallllly treat you as one of my best friends. But is till want you to try harder.

Sometimes its unfair. All these things happen to you all at once. But you really have to try. For me. At least?

I really miss you so much. Its like past few days without you its been really really weird. I cant shout down ur level for you to come talk to me anymore. No one is gonna carry my bag. No one is gonna laugh at me in that weird way. No one is gonna piggy back me.

I wish u didn’t have to go. But maybe its better. It’s a new start. New chances. Youre gonna meet new people. Treasure it okay? I really wanna hear that you’re doing well there. And I’ll visit you soon.

Make my 17th birthday a good one okay?

Love you ALWAYS.
Xoxo.